Hi there...
Well, I don't know if you guys speak english, but I am Nini5's boyfriend, and I just read everything she, and you, wrote concerning our issue. To begin with, I want people to understand that I am not the monster I appear to be.
I think it is important to start from the beginning if you want the whole framework and to give accurate answers. So I know Nini since about 4 years now, and we are in relationship since this summer. I truly love her, and I am ready to do whatever it takes for her to feel better in our relationship, but I found out she started to think I was not attracted by her body since she got 5 kilos (which are actually not visible at all, but she keeps measuring her weight, so I trust her on that). The point is, I am loosing my errection when we are doing it from the back, because as she said I am in big overweight, and the effort is making me loose blood pressure. I also prefer other positions in which I can look at her in the eyes because then I feel a strong connection with her. When doing these positions, there is absolutely no problem, because I don't need to move as much.
I know she is worried about me, because I am going for long time in the toilets with either a book, a tablet, a phone or a video-game console, and she thinks that I am masturbating during that time. I always have been this kind of guy who reads in the toilet, and since I am a kid it takes me long for doing the "big thing" (no more details required, but I even had health issues due to that).
I did the mistake to tell her, once that she was still half-dressed, that I would enjoy having sex with her from time to time that way. Not that I don't want to see her body (it is rather the contrary) but I wanted to have this feeling of "frantic" sex, in which we would not even have time to take out the clothes (just like in movies...). I know she took it really the wrong way, and now I feel bad to have brought her so many worries.
Second mistake, I did masturbate once since we are living together, as I was working (I work from home, as a translator). I was really in the mood, and I would have waken her up, but she was sleeping really tight, and she usually doesn't sleep enough, so I just did "my things". But when I told her, after she asked me, she started thinking I was doing it everyday (she even mentionned me doing it several times per day..). So to show her that she shouldn't worry, I have been going now only with a book or videogame, but still she kept on.
Of course I think I must be responsible for the problem, and I am trying to find solutions to fix it. We already went to nutritionist to find a diet for me to loose weight, and we are about to start this insanity program. I always have been overweight, and for that reason I am shy and I have huge complex concerning my body, so when I hear her thinking that I would complain about her weight, it just makes me crazy :(
Concerning the porn, well, just as Mara30 said, I am totally okay to install this "parental control" on the computers, tablet, phone, whatever it takes for her to feel better in our relationship. She is sad, and thinks she is somehow not good for me, while she is doing so many things everyday to make me happy. I want to make her feel as good as she makes me, because except this issue, everything is just wonderful in our relation, and I want to make it last on solid grounds, with trust and respect.
So thank you for paying attention to our issue, and I am waiting for your advices.
Adel
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